What is Forgiveness?
Is it for the weak or for the strong?
Is it an act of cowardice or of strength?
Does it mean, we are over it or that we can no longer fight the feelings inside?
What is Forgiveness?
Is it an outward or an inward activity?
Is it an act or just self reconciliation?
Does it need to be done when someone asks for it or is it something we should just do on our own?
What is Forgiveness?
Is it done for others or is done for one's own self?
Then who should it affect more, us or them?
Does it calm you or does the bitterness always remain?
What is Forgiveness?
And when is the right time to forgive?
When you are at peace or when you are seeking it?
Is it right to forgive when we still have feelings or only when we are detached?
But if we are detached then why would we care to forgive?
What is Forgiveness?
Is it an end to the questions or the beginning of new ones?
Is it just a lead to the next hopeful action?
Does it end there or does it shroud you once again but later.
So, Is it like a wild-goose chase?
Which ends but never gets over?
Are these questions just in me?
Or are these felt by everyone?
I just don't know yet.
Hi Ananya.. truly thought provoking...
ReplyDeleteYou have touched so many aspects of forgiveness in a single article....
While prima facie it may seem that forgiveness requires an inner strength to overcome the negativity and absolve someone.. 'to err is human, to forgive is divine'.
But sometimes this act of forgiveness may actually collude the repeat of the wrongdoing. Common examples can be domestic violence, racism... in these cases forgiveness is another term for condoning wrongdoings... which may be either due to the weakness or the servile attitude. So terming the act as bravery or cowardice depends more on the wrongdoer (his/her tendency/reason for the wrong act) than the forgiver.
What are the motivators (Ends) and the actuators of the process and who are the stakeholders?
POV of the wrongdoer:
One of the main reasons of pardon has been the tendency to return to a relationship/state pre the commitment of 'crime' or 'wrong-act'. We can take the theological standpoint from either the semitic religions or the oriental religions. Taking a bath in holy ganga or confessing to the father in church.. It is human tendency to find peace by doing a little (ctrl+z) in life. Whether it may be infidelity in a relationship to something like forgetting an important milestone in someone's life...
POV of the forgiver
He/she may forgive either to amend the relationship (the same end as that of the wrongdoer) or for inner peace.. In either case the forgiver should be very 'Selfish', to forgive because someone asks for it is like to love when asked for. Forgiveness has to be unconditional. Like love, don't rush into forgiveness, don't force into it.. let forgiveness come out itself..
Forgiveness is neither an end to a question or beginning of new ones, rather it's like a bridge helping you 'move on' and start a new part of life..
And yes these questions are faced by everyone :)
I am glad to hear your thoughts on my post. Thanks for taking the effort to read, think and write.
DeleteI liked and completely agree with 2 points especially:-
Forgiveness might be taken as condoning wrong behavior. It is best suited when the wrong doer asks for forgiveness, because he/she has realized their mistake. Of course, in that case the forgiver should be the selfless one and help the other to get redemption. But if that's not the case,it might just lead to repeat behaviours.
Secondly, I really liked the line - "Like love, don't rush into forgiveness, don't force it." I think only that solves it all.. I should just keep my questions but not desperately look for answers. Because that makes one lose their peace even more.
And ...I guess not everyone but only who care to think as much.
Talking of specifics:
ReplyDelete1. It's difficult to forgive, for it also means reconciling to fate or fact.
2. “D’you know what happens when you hurt people?’ Ammu said. ‘When you hurt people, they begin to love you less. That’s what careless words do. They make people love you a little less.”
― Arundhati Roy, The God of Small Things
I somehow like this line so much. Somehow reflects your conflict
Now, the questions you raise, I have no immediate answers to. I like that you have scratched beneath the hollow of our empty lives and started dwelling on thoughts that matter or may keep you intoxicated.
I also have serious doubts everyone faces these questions, remember, we are selfish by design. Seek none, give none is a way of life for many. Some people believe in no regrets. Some people are cold enough not to be hurt by anyone. Some people aloof enough to not be affected by sentiments. Some people love people so much, for them forgiving is like taking in a fresh breath of air.
Some people yearn for revenge, some just lust for things to go back as they were.
Has history forgiven the likes of Hitler? Architects of India-Pakistan separation and the bloodshed that follow? Riots of Godhara? People who burn down women in the name of love-jihad?
There is no forgiveness, we learn our lessons and divert energy and focus to shape a brighter and better future. Change is the only constant, and smart people, move on, for a better present, and a much more happier tomorrow. Peace, is not a milestone, but a journey IMO. Something we keep striving for,unless we are Buddha!
Hey Pathik :) finally an actual comment (were you high when you wrote this ?? :P)
DeleteJust kidding. These thoughts and many more do keep me intoxicated. But that's the fun in life, to think beyond the obvious.
And I agree with all the kinds of people you have mentioned. Everyone of us is a kind and we all should find out what kind we are.
Wonderful lines - "Peace, is not a milestone, but a journey IMO. Something we keep striving for,unless we are Buddha!"
Thanks!
Hi Ananya
ReplyDeleteThese are my views on your poem.
Forgiveness is certainly for the mentally strong and for sure, an act of strength. It's a mixture of both, outward and inward feelings which happen on self realization or self reconciliation without which forgiveness has no meaning. It leads to peace of mind, which certainly calms you down and the bitterness fades away with passage of time.
On realization, just forgive and leave it behind for the sake of mental peace. This has a direct bearing on life, as it is a never ending process, leading to multiple emotions. For peace of mind and heart, one puts an end to a particular situation to move forward. I also do care for emotional and touchy thoughts and so many others may also think likewise.
Life goes on with the mixed bag of feelings and thoughts, be mentally strong. It is an on going process. So live happily and enjoy it to the fullest.
Love you a lot,
Mom